When you find out you are pregnant, a rush of emotion floods your heart and mind- fear, excitement, joy, wonder! Shortly after the news we begin to develop an attachment to our babies. We think of names, what they will look like, who they will become.
We don’t think about the what could go wrong, we think about all of the positives. But when you go to the doctor for a seemingly normal check-up and the unimaginable happens, your whole world shifts and turns upside-down. It’s not fair, and it’s not supposed to happen this way. We are not supposed to lose our children. We are supposed to grow old and die, and leave our children to a beautiful life.
Children who lose their parents are orphans. Spouses who lose their significant others are widows. There is no word to describe a parent who has lost their child. There is no way to describe the grief that fills your heart.
When we lose our parents or loved ones, it is a tragedy. But the mourning is different than that of a pregnancy loss. They had a life they lived and fulfilled. People knew about them. There was a wake, and a funeral that their friends and families attended. There is a closure and a goodbye. They will be remembered by all who knew them.
When you lose a child, often no one knows. If people do know, they try not to bring it up, sometimes they altogether forget. They tell you it will be ok. Often times there is no funeral or service for your baby. (This is especially true for early losses.)
How can you cope and continue on after a loss so great? How do you move on and function in a world where no one knows your pain?
Oklahoma Bereavement Resources
- Community Crossing Church
runs a miscarriage and infant loss support group.
- Oklahoma Support Group for Birth Trauma and Pregnancy Loss
- Application For Stillbirth Certificate
For babies born 20wks gestation and older in Oklahoma.
a support group for people who are grieving the death of someone close to them.
- Babies Remembered online community for parents to share pictures and stories.
- Online Bereavement Support through StillBirthDay
- Make a Memory:
Find a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Photographer
- Contact us for
Bereavement Doula support during this difficult time.
National SIDS, Stillbirth & Miscarriage Hotline:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: